Salvagers’ inadequate technology, fantastical imaginations make headlines

CNN reports that recently, some deep-sea salvagers (shipwreck-hunters) may or may not have found an “unidentified flying object” at the bottom of the sea.  It’s hard to say what the item is exactly, because their technology is notoriously inadequate, and leaves everyone with more questions than answers.  Luckily, men’s default state is to live in a continuous fantasy world that has little to nothing to do with the real world, so they were able to speculate wildly about what the object might be, getting themselves on the news in the process.

From the article:

Lindberg’s team believe they are too big to have fallen off a ship or be part of a wreck, but it’s anyone’s guess what could be down there.

“We’ve heard lots of different kinds of explanations, from George Lucas’s spaceship — the Millennium Falcon — to ‘it’s some kind of plug to the inner world,’ like it should be hell down there or something.

“But we won’t know until we have been down there,” said Lindberg.

[…]

The reliability of one-side scan sonar images is one of his main concerns, making it difficult to determine if the object is a natural geological formation or something different altogether.

“It all depends on the circumstances when you actually tow the [sonar] fish after the boat,” he said.

“What are the temperature conditions, the wave conditions, how deep is your fish in relation to the sea bed etcetera and all those parameters also affects what kind of image you have in the end,” he explained.

Even Lindberg agrees the image “isn’t the best it could be.” But his crew are still planning to return to the site in the calmer waters of spring to investigate their find.

Because they don’t know what it is, because their technology is too poor to actually give them any information they can actually use, and instead just piques their interest (which let’s face it, is a very easy thing to do) the men have fun speculating that it might be the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars, while patting themselves on the backs for this “discovery” and crossing their fingers that their investors will come off the huge piles of cash it would take to finance a deep-sea salvaging mission to see what it is up close.

Because they all, apparently, have way too much time and/or money on their hands, and not enough important things to spend them on.

And by the way, in case anyone was wondering, this manly job is dangerous.  Because they want it to be, because their technology makes it so, and because men are notorious necrophiliacs who hate life and the living, and have had enough of both anyway.  And somehow, they can justify paying themselves more to voluntarily take physical risks at work, even as they routinely voluntarily take physical risks outside of work, for free.  And they all have women to take care of them if they hurt themselves.  And the women, of course, perform all of this unpaid mental labor (including worrying and planning for the inevitable) and caretaking because they are women, and because if women didn’t do it, who would?

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